clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
