Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
