Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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