How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
