seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
