Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dignity is for republicans.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
