No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
