so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I will be naked everywhere
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
