Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
