We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
