dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize