Your dad touched me again.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
