I hate all girls vehemently.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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