matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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