If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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