dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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