Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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