I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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