this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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