if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
