There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
