please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
