wat bout pragnant strippers??
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
