didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
