The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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