so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
