How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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