He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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