i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
