I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
