I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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