The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm passing your future prison.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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