Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
