You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
