I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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