Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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