Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
