I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
