saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
