her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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