how can u be prego again
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
