and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
