we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
