May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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