So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
please don't ironically join a cult
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