oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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