well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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