I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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