She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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