cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
