a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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