Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
