Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
