so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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