dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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