That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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