Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
