its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
