clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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