whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
