how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
