some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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