you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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