Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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